This past month I have been looking back on this year and even the year prior thinking about all the little moments I have had that have touched my heart, the ones that I am thankful for...the month of November tends to do that to people I guess. But as I've been doing this I realized that a lot of these "special moments" (I like to call them) Have happened to me as I've been listening to music. I would like to share some of them.
2009 was a trialing year for me. Now don't get me wrong it was still a great year with a lot of happy times and memories, but very trialing. Garett was traveling for his work and would leave for 12 days and come home for 8, and some times he would leave for 12 come home for 2 days and then leave again for 12. Those of you that know me know that I have a hard time being alone and especially being without my best friend and person I love so much. I learned a lot of things though while he was gone. I would cry many days and nights and at times it was hard for me to see "the light at the end of the tunnel." It was hard for me to think of husband spending his birthday, easter, general conference, halloween, BYU Football games, and many other things by himself. I know we were meant to go through all of that for us to grow and become better people,we grew closer from this. At the end of August 2009 we starting trying to get pregnant, but because of his crazy schedule you can imagine how difficult this was. One night while gar was out of town I turned on the Hannah Montana movie. (Yes I do like Hannah Montana, and if you haven't seen the movie it really is great!) I have heard her song "the climb" a million times before this but because that night I had been dwelling on his job and we weren't being successful at getting pregnant, when she sang that song in the movie I broke down and started to cry. I knew that one way or the other things would get better, even if we had to climb mountains to get there...that it wouldn't be easy, and it wasn't easy! Gar was able to get a new job but the process leading up to the new job was long and stressful. And we didn't get pregnant until the end of December but what I am grateful for is that he did get a new job and we have the most beautiful little girl Charly that was worth all those hard mountain climbs and sometimes even falls down the mountain. I wouldn't trade those trials for anything now.
Myley Cyrus
The Climb
Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
© HOPELESS ROSE MUSIC; VISTAVILLE MUSIC;
In the summer of 2009 my mom was stake camp director and she had invited my Dad, my sisters, and me to go up to Heber Valley camp for a fireside one night. At this time I had been feeling the way I'm sure everyone has felt at some time or another in their life. I was feeling so inadequate and that I wasn't being a "good enough" person...I had so many short comings. Also, I was so jealous that I wasn't able to go to girls camp anymore and spend ONE WHOLE week getting spiritually fed..."what just because I'm not 12 anymore and I'm married I can't come and be apart of this now..." And then everyone started to sing their theme song for that years girls camp- I felt the spirit so strong and realized that this is why we have the temple, that's where I can go and get my spiritual high...but I have to actually put forth the effort and get myself there. And if I do my best and follow my Heavenly Father he is going to fill my lamp where I fall short.
The Ten Virgins
When he comes for me
We are all invited to the feast
Each of us is welcome-from the greatest to the least
We hold the invitation in our hands
It's written in each crevice of our own lamp
I promise I'll prepare to be there on that day
Dancing in the glory as we celebrate
Like a lamp the Master planned each of us
With his grand design
The oil is the light I will burn through the night
As I wait for him to come again
There will always be enough
If I run to Him to fill it up
Drop by drop by drop
'Till I know Him perfectly
When he comes for me
Humble hearts are waiting for the day
Faithfully preparing for the chance to light His way
Guardians of the vessels that will burn
Watching for the Master to return
Maker of the gift that only He can fill
Keeper of the precious oil is waiting still
Like a lamp the Master planned each of us
With his grand design
The oil is the light I will burn through the night
As I wait for him to come again
There will always be enough
If I run to Him to fill it up
Drop by drop by drop
'Till I know Him perfectly
When he comes for me
And I will kiss the hands
That made my lamp
When he comes again
I will honor him
Like a lame the Master planned each of us
With his grand design
The oil is the light I will burn through the night
As I wait for him to come again
There will always be enough
If I run to Him to fill it up
Drop by drop by drop
'Till I know him perfectly
I'll be worthy of my King
When He come for me
After I had Charly I was experiencing the baby blues. It was a really hard and challenging thing for me to have to deal with. I would constantly ask Gar and my Mom "Am I ever going to feel normal again...?" I didn't see how I was ever going to get through those feelings and be able to just be the great mom that Charly deserved . I had been at my mom and dad's house one Saturday watching the BYU football game and I had been having those terrible feelings. I decided to go back home and as soon as I got in my car I started to BAWL! So as I'm driving and bawling the song "In my Daughters eyes" By Martina Mcbride came on. I felt such peace and I knew everything was going to be okay, that I was going to get through this and It was all going to be okay... and I did :).
Martina Mcbride
In My daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Just a couple of Sunday's ago Gar and I were driving home from the cabin. And if we are coming home from the cabin on a Sunday we will always listen to the "church music" mix on our Ipod. The song came on "What heaven See's in you" And It occurred to me that I have the great blessing and privilege to be able to teach Charly about this gospel...her Heavenly Father....her Savior Jesus Christ...the Plan of Salvation....the Atonement...and the list goes on and on. But I also felt scared, It is my OBLIGATION to make sure I teach her these things. I felt a feeling of sadness as well to know that it will be her choice if she chooses to believe these things or not, it's up to her to gain a testimony of her savior Jesus Christ. I pray that she does gain all those things
What Heaven Sees in You
(Doug Walker / SherryMarksWalker)
Performedby: Doug Walker
Sent to this earth
You were saved through the ages for this day
and time
Child of great worth
Child of promise, daughter of the Divine
Pure and holy in a little, white dress
You were held in a circle and you were blessedAnd the Father looked down
And the angels surrounded that place
They knew the truth, all that you could do
And you will, too, if you have eyes to see
What heaven sees in youDressed in white once more
Making promises to follow in God’s way
So much lies in store
For the little girl who enters at the gate
Pure and holy in a little, white dress
You were led into the water and you were blessedRepeat ChorusDo you understand who you are
Part of the Father lives in you
If you continue on this path
Every promise God has given will come true
Heaven on earth
In the house of God, so much fills your heart and mind
Woman of great worth
Woman of promise, daughter of the Divine
Pure and holy in a long, white dress
You promise forever and you are blessedAnd the Father looks down
And the angels surround that place
They know the truth, all that you can do
And you do, too, ‘cause you have eyes to see
What heaven sees in youWill you have eyes to see
What heaven sees in you
Well I think it is safe to say that I have felt the spirit through many songs these past couple of years and I am so thankful for the help and peace I have recieved through these songs. I am thankful for the power that music can have in our lives.
