4 Year Crisis?!?!?!

Okay so here's the thing-
Back in 2007 I was 7 months into Hair School, my boyfriend just broke up with me, my confidence dropped to it's lowest, I was feeling so empty for many reasons in my life at the time.... and I had long blond healthy hair...

 One thing I have learned since then is that changing my hair is a way that I deal with my emotions, it was also my way of rebelling if that makes any sense. So back to my story... after all this was going on I decided to CHOP off my hair and color it BLACK. It was short and spiky in the back and a faux hawk on top, that was my way of dealing with what all that I was going through at the that time. Soon after I regretted it and it seems like I have been trying to get my hair back to the way it was in the picture above for 4 years now. It is now longer and blonder and I'm still feeling like it's not right....am I just not a blond anymore? Or will I just really never be happy with my hair? One thing I hate about my blond hair is how damaging it is. I really would LOVE  to find a hair color and just stick with it....it causes me so much grief changing it, but I feel like if it was where I loved it right now then I wouldn't feel the need to change it...Gar is convinced though that no matter how much I like I'm going to eventually change it, and that really troubles me. 

So I'm asking for your opinion and help What should I do????

Here are some of my ideas..... 
I'm in the middle- It's a darker brown with some blond pieces going through it.                                                                     

 Next-

 Or do I just stay blond?!?!?! 
Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!